Discussion of the diagnosis of anorgasmia: is it a sentence?
Awful seems to be the proportion of women who are not able to experience an orgasm. Moreover, against the background of men who do not need to make almost any effort for this - in 99% of cases it is guaranteed by nature.
Statistics say that 10% of women are not able to experience orgasm, 30% of women do not experience it with their partner, and spiteful critics say that female orgasm is a myth. If you consider yourself among those who for some reason cannot, you should not put an end to yourself. Anorgasmia is not a sentence.
To start with yourself, and then to your partner. Many women try to hide the fact that they do not have an orgasm and simply imitate it. This is not a way out, but only a departure from an unresolved problem. In addition, a man with whom you are not the first passion can easily guess your pretense, because if you can easily depict ohi-ahs and even convulsions, then the characteristic contraction of the muscles of the vagina and the rapid heartbeat is not so simple.
It is not necessary to confront your beloved with the fact that in your entire married life you have never experienced an orgasm, but always pretended to be. Say that you just want new sensations, but are not sure about the result. A man will always go to an experiment, and a warning that you may not be struggling in ecstasy will set him up for a normal reaction.
In order for an orgasm to happen, a woman does not have enough mechanical movements. Sex is primarily in the head, so be able to disconnect from thoughts about problems. If you can’t get in the right mood, then you should not expect that the idea of changing something will succeed.
Feel free to masturbate if this is the only way in which you can experience an orgasm. The man will not mind, for him it will be just a pleasant addition to his usual sex life.
Offer to use various lubricants, toys from a sex shop. For a man, diversity is only a plus, but for you a good chance to know your body and achieve what you want.
Don't think about orgasm
If every time you have sex, you will worry whether you will be able to experience an orgasm or not lucky again, it will never happen. To teach not to evaluate the quality of sex by the number of orgasms. Many women are satisfied that they enjoy the process itself, and they discharge themselves a little later with the help of hands or a shower. And this is not the worst alternative to traditional orgasm.
Try to fully engage in the process, surrender to passion and not inhibit yourself with prohibitions, complexes or fear of not being like everyone else. The nicer you make your partner, the more you get in return. In the end, you will catch that rhythm and find a pose at which everything will work out.
First, sex should be regular. If you complain about the lack of orgasm, and sex is extremely rare in this case, then this is not at all surprising.
Secondly, the partner must be permanent. Because it takes a lot of time to lapping, and not everyone can completely relax in bed with a stranger.
Third, do Kegel exercises. Making them simple - you need to reduce the muscles of the vagina for several minutes 4 - 5 times a day and you need to do this regularly. All gynecologists unanimously argue that it is these exercises that help women get rid of inferiority and, finally, begin to experience orgasms.
If no tricks help, it makes sense to contact a gynecologist and sexologist to rule out the possible physiological and psychological causes of such an injustice. With due diligence, it turns out that you are quite capable of enchanting multiple orgasms as often as you want.
Anorgasmia is a common pathological condition in modern sexology. In the vast majority of cases, it is diagnosed in female patients. According to research, before the first birth, satisfaction with sexual contact is felt by only 70% of women. From the absence of an orgasm, 10 to 20% of the fairer sex, having regular sexual relations for 10 years or more, suffers. The probability of achieving a discharge depends on the circumstances of sexual life, the disorder often occurs after prolonged abstinence or when changing a sexual partner. The connection between the lack of orgasm and masturbation is usually not traced. The prognosis depends on the causes of the development of pathology.
Causes of anorgasmia
This condition belongs to the category of polyetiological. We can distinguish two large groups of causes of its occurrence - somatic and psychological. Psychological factors are more common, include:
- Psychosexual development disorders. This group includes violation of sex-role models of behavior, pathology of sexual identification, distortion of psychosexual orientation and other psychological phenomena that can occur in isolation or combine with each other.
- Personality features. A certain role in the formation of anorgasmia can be played by shyness, excessive shyness, suspiciousness, stiffness, a tendency to “get stuck” in unpleasant experiences, difficulties in switching attention, and inability to relax.
- Psychogenic factors. The reason for the absence of a sensory peak during a sexual act is sometimes transferred psychological trauma: incestuous relationships in childhood, rape, gross defloration. At the initial stage of sexual activity, pathology may be due to the unsuccessful experience of the first relationship. Some patients are afraid of public relations or an unwanted pregnancy.
- Mental disorders. Anorgasmia occurs in connection with impaired thinking, emotional or intellectual sphere. Often accompanies depression, can be diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder, panic disorder, dysmorphophobia, eating disorders, serious illnesses with psychotic symptoms.
The somatic causes of this disorder include malformations of the reproductive system, inflammatory processes in the pelvic area, conditions after complicated births, injuries and diseases of the genital organs. Anorgasmia is observed with congenital anomalies, injuries and diseases of the spinal cord with impaired innervation, with severe somatic pathology and with asthenia of various origins (after traumatic injuries, somatic and infectious diseases, against the background of exhaustion). Sometimes the cause of the disorder is insufficient stimulation of the erogenous zones, inattention or rudeness of the partner during intercourse.
Anorgasmia can be an independent pathology or be combined with frigidity. Based on the onset time, the following types of disorder are distinguished:
- Primary. The experience of orgasmic sensations and the emotional experiences resulting from these sensations is completely absent.
- Secondary. A history of the onset of orgasm with any type of stimulation is noted, however, at present, reaching a peak during intercourse is not possible.
Given the severity and characteristics of the course, there are:
- Total anorgasmia. Sexual relationships never end in orgasm, regardless of the nature of the stimulation.
- Oligoorgasmia (sporadic or partial anorgasmia). The peak of pleasure with various types of stimulation occurs rarely and irregularly.
- Nymphomaniac anorgasmia. High excitability is observed with dissatisfaction and the absence of a sense of completeness of coitus.
- Situational anorgasmia. Achieving orgasm is possible in certain circumstances (in one position, with sexual perversions, unusual stimulation, etc.). A type of pathology is coital anorgasmia - a condition in which an orgasm is noted during masturbation, but not during intercourse.
Symptoms of anorgasmia
The main complaint is the complete absence or rare onset of orgasm. The psychological perception of the disorder varies significantly. Some patients have a positive attitude to sexual contacts, feel a certain pleasure and relaxation. Others are indifferent, perceive sex life as a duty. Still others are disgusted and avoid sexual intercourse. Somatic condition also varies. In some cases, symptoms are absent. In others (often with the nymphomanic variant), headaches, insomnia and abdominal pain are observed due to the lack of discharge and congestion in the pelvic area.
Anorgasmia can cause depression and neurotic disorders, aggravate existing depressive and neurotic symptoms. Pathology often provokes cooling, and in some cases even the appearance of aversion to a partner, which negatively affects all aspects of family relationships, leads to conflicts and becomes another factor that increases the likelihood of neuroticism. Experts indicate that anorgasmia increases the likelihood of varicose veins of the pelvis, accompanied by pain in the lower abdomen, heaviness, discomfort and pain in the area of the external genitalia.
Diagnosis is usually straightforward. Anorgasmia is diagnosed taking into account complaints and anamnesis. To clarify the causes of the pathology, various examination programs are prescribed, compiled taking into account the data obtained during the survey and external examination of the patient:
- Gynecological examination. It is performed with suspected anomalies of development and acquired pathology of the reproductive organs. Includes consultation with a gynecologist, examination on a chair, ultrasound of the pelvic organs, tests to exclude specific and nonspecific infectious diseases, etc.
- Endocrinological examination. It is indicated for the detection of hirsutism, infantilism, infertility, fat metabolism disorders, menstrual irregularities. It provides for consultation with an endocrinologist, hormonal studies, ultrasound of the endocrine glands, etc.
- Psychiatric or psychological examination. It is necessary when identifying signs of depression, emotional instability, increased anxiety, excessive fixation on issues related to sexual dissatisfaction, complaints of unusual sensations in the genital area, strange interpretations of anorgasmia. Includes consultation of a psychologist or psychiatrist, conducting special tests, pathopsychological examination and other techniques.
If another somatic pathology is detected, the patient is referred to specialists of the appropriate profile. Differential diagnosis is carried out with pseudo-anorgasmia - a condition in which a woman experiences multiple mild orgasms or a wave-like peak of pleasure.
Therapeutic tactics are determined individually. In the presence of a causal pathology, the therapy of identified mental disorders and somatic diseases is carried out. According to indications (for example, with congenital malformations of the reproductive system), surgical interventions are performed. A treatment plan may include:
- Medications. Patients are prescribed antidepressants, tranquilizers, sedatives of synthetic and herbal origin, vitamins, biogenic stimulants, restorative drugs. If necessary, apply hormone therapy.
- Physiotherapeutic procedures. In the process of treating anorgasmia, various types of massage, reflexology, electrical stimulation, electrosleep, vibration and hydrostimulation are used.
- Psychotherapy. Individual and family consultations are conducted to work out psycho-traumatic situations, correct neurotic disorders, resolve conflicts, increase confidence in relationships and improve the psychological climate in the family.
The most important role in the therapy of anorgasmia is played by treatment by a sexologist. The specialist helps to overcome psychological prohibitions and sexual fears, reduce anxiety about one's sexual viability and attractiveness. During therapy, the patient learns to better understand the needs of her body, her partner - to take these needs into account during intercourse, both members of the couple - openly discuss problems in sexual relations.
Forecast and Prevention
The prognosis is determined by the causes of anorgasmia. In the absence of severe mental or somatic disorders that prevent the achievement of orgasm, an important role is played by the willingness of partners to change sexual behavior, to review the boundaries of acceptable actions during intercourse, to pay attention to each other's desires and needs. Prevention consists in adequate sex education, the formation of the right sex-role models, increasing the level of sexual literacy, creating comfortable relationships with the couple, observing the regime of work and rest, preventing and treating diseases of the genital area.
What is anorgasmia
Anorgasmia is a medical term for regular problems with orgasm. An important point: problems arise even when the stars come together.
Suppose you have a beloved and loving partner, the necessary atmosphere has been created, a gentle and passionate prelude has taken place, you sincerely want sex, but nothing works. If this is your option, then you can really talk about anorgasmia.
The absence of orgasms during sex with a person to whom you are indifferent, or in a situation that does not seem comfortable to you, is not an anorgasmia.
The concept of anorgasmia
Anorgasmia is a condition in which a woman, although experiencing pleasure during intercourse, does not reach orgasm. Many researchers often attribute anorgasmia to one of the varieties of frigidity. However, in the case of frigidity, the woman completely lacks excitement when her partner touches the erogenous zones. In the case of anorgasmia, there is excitement, but there is no so-called "point of highest pleasure" .
Types of anorgasmia
The classification of this type of disease directly depends on how often a woman experiences (if at all) an orgasm during intimacy.
According to the time of occurrence of anorgasmia is divided into primary and secondary:
Primary lack of orgasm means that a woman has never been at the point of highest enjoyment from the very beginning of her sex life. Thus, if she had several partners, then with any of them she could not experience an orgasm.
Secondary lack of orgasm a woman is associated with some circumstances that occurred in her life (violent acts of a sexual nature, an unsuccessful first experience of sexual relations, a relationship with an unloved man, etc.). Those. Initially, she experienced an orgasm, but a series of life circumstances prevented the woman from continuing to achieve the highest pleasure in intimate relationships.
Why it is worth getting rid of anorgasmia
Normally, a healthy adult regularly needs sex. Having received an orgasm, he at the same time undergoes psychological and physiological discharge, which affects some areas of the brain. If there is no orgasm (that is, discharge), this seriously affects Delayed Orgasm and Anorgasmia on the psycho-emotional state. So, it is known that:
- anorgasmia causes sexual dissatisfaction, nervous excitement, irritability and can cause prolonged stress,
- men often develop anxiety, insecurity, which provoke other sexual problems - for example, erectile dysfunction,
- women lose sex drive.
The accumulating problems associated with the anorgasmia of one of the partners spoil the relationship within the couple and can even lead to a break. For single people, the absence of sexual discharge is fraught with neurosis. Therefore, ignore anorgasmia is not worth it. It is important to understand what became its cause, and if possible to correct the situation.
What happens anorgasmia
Experts from the reputable research organization Mayo Clinic categorize all cases of anorgasmia into four categories of Anorgasmia in women.
- Primary or congenital anorgasmia. They talk about it if a person has not experienced an orgasm even once in their life.
- Secondary or acquired. This is if you are familiar with orgasms, but they were with you once upon a time, but now they do not come.
- Situational. You can experience an orgasm, but only under certain, sometimes specific conditions. For example, only during oral sex or during masturbation, or maybe only with a specific partner.
- Generalized. This term describes anorgasmia, in which a person does not experience an orgasm under any conditions.
Psychological problems, including in relationships
- prolonged stress or depression, including those related to financial problems,
- rejection of one’s own body (dysmorphophobia),
- complexes related to cultural prejudices or beliefs,
- excessive shyness
- past sexual or emotional abuse
- difficulties in relations with a partner - unresolved insults, unresolved issues, ignoring sexual needs and preferences, infidelity or abuse of trust.
How to get rid of anorgasmia
Given the number and variety of factors that provoke this violation, it is most effective to consult a therapist. He will study your medical history, ask a number of questions about lifestyle, personal relationships, habits, medications. You may be asked to take a series of tests.
Depending on the results, the therapist will send you to specialized specialists - a gynecologist, urologist, endocrinologist, neurologist, sexologist, psychotherapist. Or he will suggest making a number of changes to the usual way of life:
- quit drinking and smoking,
- walk more to improve blood circulation,
- do kegel exercises
- replace the medication with a similar drug without side effects regarding the ability to experience orgasms.
Physiological causes of anorgasmia
The absence of an orgasm in a woman can be a consequence of medical diseases, taking medications, drug abuse, etc. It is worth highlighting the following factors:
The presence of anorgasmia can be a consequence of diseases, including gynecological. The main diseases that can affect the ability to achieve an orgasm during intimacy, include neurological diseases (for example, multiple sclerosis), as well as diabetes, problems with the endocrine system . I would like to highlight the presence of gynecological pathologies into a special group, because, as a rule, they go hand in hand with anorgasmia: childbirth and the postpartum recovery period, pelvic surgery, hormonal disorders (for example, low levels of androgens), delayed sexual development the presence of infections.
It is no secret that the effect of many drugs can affect not only the source of pain or discomfort, but also the general condition of the body as a whole. In the case when we are talking about anorgasmia, I want to mention antihistamines, as well as antidepressants, medicines to lower blood pressure . All of the above drugs can directly or indirectly affect a woman’s ability to enjoy true pleasure and achieve orgasm during an intimate relationship with a sexual partner.
Excessive alcohol consumption, smoking, and also drugs have a direct destructive effect on the whole body. In addition to everything, they can become the causative anorgasmia in women.
It is no secret that menopase can directly affect a woman's sensation of her sexuality, as well as the ability to achieve orgasm. This is due to a decrease in the level of estrogen in the blood, which reduces the sensitivity of the nipples, clitoris, and vagina.
Psychological causes of anorgasmia
Speaking about the psychological reasons for the lack of an orgasm in a woman, I want to note that the first and main factor of anorgasmia is dyshamia.
Dysgamy is a situation that occurs when between two partners lack of harmony in intimate relationships. Most often this is due to a mismatch in the temperament of a man and a woman. In addition, regular premature ejaculation in a partner can be one of the main causes of anorgasmia. Some women can achieve the highest satisfaction from intimacy only after long preludes, but very often the partner thinks of achieving an orgasm, forgetting to give pleasure to the woman.
Another serious enough psychological problem that hinders the achievement of orgasm is too strict upbringing of the girl in childhood. Lack of any experience, as well as isolation and constraint, guilty feeling that a woman is doing something forbidden - all these factors directly affect the fact that a partner cannot fully open up, relax and enjoy the whole gamut of feelings during an intimate proximity.
In addition to the above psychological factors, a woman’s lack of orgasm can be affected by such a method of protection as interrupted sexual intercourse. Afraid of becoming pregnant, the partner will not think about how to achieve the highest pleasure in sexual relations, but only about the partner to do everything quickly and correctly. Among other things, anorgasmia can directly depend on the size of the penis of the sexual partner, as well as on the chosen position during sex.
For example, many women tend to have an orgasm when stimulating the clitoris, so they should choose postures that allow this action to be performed at 100%.
All of the above reasons for the development of anorgasmia in women indicate one thing: it is necessary to treat this disease and it is necessary to act as soon as possible, until the lack of orgasm has not developed into frigidity. It should be noted that the duration of treatment depends on the specific situation. Very often, a woman just needs to change her posture during intimacy or ask her partner to pay more attention to the foreplay, as problems disappear by themselves. However, in some cases, the way to get rid of anorgasmia can be thorny and very difficult.
Consultation with a sexologist
A sex therapist will tell the woman in detail about the most important issues regarding the physiology of the genital area and human anatomy. At first glance, seeming superfluous for a person far from medical activity, this knowledge will help partners not only better understand each other, but also more effectively give each other pleasure during love games. Masturbation and a variety of experiments in bed will not be superfluous.
When contacting a specialist, a woman should be prepared for the fact that she will have to answer a number of very frank questions. For example, a sex therapist may be interested in the following points:
1) How long does a woman not have an orgasm?
2) Is a woman excited during intimacy with her current partner?
3) When did the first intimacy in a woman's life happen?
4) How satisfied is the woman with her partner and relationship with him?
5) Have any sexual education been instilled in the woman’s family?
The fair sex should prepare for the fact that questions can be more than frank. But this is exactly what, coupled with medical treatment, will help her to heal again with a full sexual life.
1) Poleev A. "The whole truth about female orgasm."
The book is a unique training from a well-known sexologist. The author provides the necessary information about the female orgasm, as well as about the ways to achieve it. The author is confident that his work will help many women, armed with patience and enthusiasm, achieve the desired result.
2) Kass V.V. The Elusive Orgasm
The work of the author of the book, a practicing psychologist and sexologist, Doctor of Philosophy Vivienne Cass, will be useful to all women without exception. In his work, the author talks about ways and methods that will allow a woman to understand her body and achieve harmony in sexual life.
3) Janusz K. “The Little Book of a Great Orgasm”
Katerina Janusz, a world-renowned specialist in the field of intimate relations, completely debunkes the myth of sexual incompatibility in her book. In an easy and accessible language, the author sets out unexpected and witty tips on how to get rid of your fears and complexes, as well as learn how to get everything that is possible from sex.
4) Nesterova D.V. "Orgasm without problems"
How to achieve an orgasm, benefit the body, and improve your body? About this and much more is shared with the fair sex, who want to learn how to get an orgasm during sex, the author of the book is Daria Nesterova.
5) Sasman L. “Orgasm: more than a hundred useful tips”
Also, a woman can be useful such works as: Hare D. “Orgasm. Guide for women. Secrets of unreal pleasure ", Bob Schwartz, Lee Schwartz" Orgasm for two. Secrets of sexual compatibility ”, A. Fedorova“ Secrets of female orgasm, or how to achieve pleasure for a woman ”and many other books on this topic.
The female orgasm, like the male one, is the result of the delicate and painstaking work of the two partners.
Only having achieved harmony in relations with her man, a woman, gradually approaching her cherished goal, can finally reach the highest level of pleasure - alluring, bubbling and the most unique orgasm!