About all interesting
Getting to know the girl’s parents is a crucial moment, which largely determines the further development of the relationship.
For any girl, the opinion of the parents is important, and for some, the law. In the article we will talk about whether it is worth getting to know and how to do it.
Expediency of dating
Acquaintance with parents in a timely manner if:
- relations with a girl last a long time,
- the relationship is already serious
- both sides are looking forward to continuing the relationship.
If one of the two is not sure that the relationship will be lasting, it is better not to force acquaintance with parents.
In order for the meeting to be held at the highest level, you should prepare for it. There are many nuances to be foreseen, nothing to forget. The first step to meeting your parents successfully is to talk with the girl about them. Topics for discussion:
- What do parents like?
- Their habits and preferences?
- How do they feel about their daughter's relationship?
- What are the features, topics, questions that should be avoided in the conversation?
To come to the girl’s parents for the first time empty-handed is a bad idea. In order to defuse the situation and make a positive impression on the threshold, it is better to select and purchase a small present in advance.
Basic rules for choosing a gift for the girl's parents:
- not too cheap and not very expensive. A cheap gift is unlikely to please, and will characterize the donor from a bad side. Too expensive a gift might put your parents in an awkward situation,
- corresponding to the moment. Do not give a gift of a comic character, ambiguous gifts may be misunderstood,
- appropriate to taste. It is better to discuss a gift with a girl in advance. She knows her parents and their taste preferences better.
Options for gifts for mom can be:
- decor items
- beautiful accessory
- beloved perfume
- a beautiful item for the kitchen (original dish, plate, etc.),
When choosing a gift, you should definitely consult with a girl. Suddenly, her mother is allergic to flowers or sweets. It will not be superfluous to find out what perfumes, sweets, accessories she loves.
Gift options for dad:
- good alcohol
- car accessory,
- new computer game (maybe :)).
A gift is selected depending on tastes and situation.
You can give something relevant for both parents at once. For example, tickets to the cinema, theater, concert. The main thing is to show attention and interest in communication.
It is unlikely that parents will like it if the chosen one of their beloved daughter comes in a dirty construction uniform or overly tight low-cut jeans. Definitely, all people are different, and someone might like an extravagant look, but it’s not worth the risk. Clothing on the day of dating should be:
- clean, tidy. Nobody likes sloppy people. Parents who wish the best for their daughter will not be delighted with an untidy young man,
- restrained in style. Do not wear a carnival costume, rocker outfit, or incompatible things. Sneakers with a business suit will clearly confuse parents and create tension from the first minutes of communication,
- restrained in form. It is not recommended to wear too bright shirts, extravagant cut t-shirts. It is better to give preference to classic things: shirts, trousers, t-shirts of neutral colors, jeans without unnecessary details.
In addition to clothing, close attention should be paid:
- perfume. The guy should smell like pleasant perfumes. Don't go overboard
- to hair. They should be clean and neatly combed.
- general condition. You should not go on an acquaintance with a cold or after a perky party. Sometimes it’s better to move this important event and prepare for it better.
Etiquette. Acquaintance with parents.
Meeting parents - The process is important and largely determines the future life together.
Meeting parents in anticipation of a future life together - a topic that deserves special attention.
In any case, you should visit your parents ’house; this situation often bothers you.
You need to know the most basic rules of conduct during dating and on subsequent visits, so that you get a good impression.
There may be another situation: you have been dating for a long time, and you have been visiting your parents more than once, but it seems to you that the parents of your beloved or beloved somehow do not accept you well.
What is the reason? Maybe you just do not behave correctly, and the parents do not consider your behavior or statements tactful or appropriate to the situation?
Knowing the rules of etiquette and behavior in the house of the parents of the groom or bride will help you avoid mistakes and make the most favorable impression on them, especially when you first meet.
The first visit is the first impression, it determines how you will be treated later in the family of the bride or groom.
Before the first visit to meet your parents, take an interest in the full name and patronymic of your parents and contact them only this way.
First of all, pay attention to your appearance. It is better to choose a classic style of clothing - calm and moderate. It is quite decent, but not necessary, to come in a suit and with a tie. Something similar to a "sports" suit should not be worn and, most importantly, no pants stretched out on your knees and. in other places.
The young man needs to make sure that the trousers and shirt are ironed, the shoes are cleaned, the socks in tone do not differ from the general color of the clothes.
The girl who came to meet the groom's parents in an almost transparent dress or a deep-necked blouse, in some super-mini, with bright makeup, perfumed with “heavy” perfumes, hung with jewelry: massive rings and bracelets, earrings, chains and pendants - will cause puzzled views of the groom's parents and, most likely, their dislike.
When meeting with parents it’s good to give them a small gift: flowers for mom and something tasty for tea in a beautiful package.
If a young man is getting acquainted, he needs to be handed 2 bouquets: mother of the bride and bride.
For the future father-in-law, you can prepare a neutral gift - an album for photos, a disk with his favorite movie, music or a book (you need to find out in advance what he loves or what the future father-in-law or father-in-law is fond of!).
Remember that flowers are a gift for all occasions. But we must remember that bouquets for men and women differ in the choice of flowers and packaging. Packaging flowers should not be too expensive or "pathos".
It is recommended that you arrive exactly at the appointed time. Do not come earlier, but you should not be late. A long wait makes a bad impression.
Do not introduce yourself or give a gift and flowers across the threshold.
Who represents whom in this situation - there are no strict rules. Act on the situation, if your loved one is embarrassed, introduce yourself: "Hello, I am such and such." Or: "Mom, this is mine."
Regardless of what your character is, you should behave with parents restraint, modestly and. quiet!
If you usually speak loudly, then try to speak quietly with your parents if you are telling something. Do not interrupt anyone in the conversation, and do not "take the conversation into your own hands."
If you feel insecure and know that in similar situations (of any acquaintance) you are nervous, chuckle for no reason or start to behave a little loose, try to control yourself, parents may not understand that this comes from embarrassment, and not from lack of education .
If you are suddenly attracted to telling jokes, be careful, do not tell ambiguous or vulgar stories when you meet. Such wit may be appropriate (and not always!) Only in the company of friends, and it is better to be more restrained with parents.
In order not to get into a mess, talk whenever possible on topics that do not cause disputes, disagreements and quarrels: study, work, plans for the future, sports, films, your hobby, etc.
Do not talk about politics, do not complain about life, wages, family problems, do not ask intimate questions at the first meeting, do not complain to parents about the shortcomings of their son or daughter, the complexity of his / her character, do not talk about illnesses.
Do not touch on topics of religion and nationality.
And, in no case, do not touch on the topic: but my ex my ex!
If you were invited to the table, try each dish offered so as not to offend the hostess, even if you are not particularly hungry.
Praise the preparation, even if you didn’t really like the dish, in this situation it’s not scary to play a trick, but the hostess will be pleased.
Attention! If there is alcohol on the table, be careful. You have to stretch your glass for the whole visit. Do not fall for the tricks of parents who will try to find out “in practice” how you feel about alcohol and will make toasts, filling your glass or glass over and over again.
Do not smoke without an offer or permission, and a girl, even if she smokes, should not smoke at all in the presence of the groom's parents.
When you see the photographs in which your chosen one / your chosen one is shown together with another girl (young man), you do not need to immediately find out who it is, seek out relations, reproach something or demand to break it all, throw it away, burn it, return it, etc. .d.
It's not beautiful. Each of you could have your own life before meeting. And this must be respected.
After the first visit, there may be others.
Make it your rule:
- do not sort things out with parents,
- do not vigorously express their love and other emotions with them,
- do not discuss personal matters with them,
- Do not reproach your / your beloved / beloved in anything with your parents, or, if you can not restrain yourself, try to soften your reproach, or to express it rather delicately.
- Do not forget to congratulate your parents on the holidays in any way that is pleasant for you.
- it would be nice to make friends with other family members of the chosen one - brothers, sisters,
- do not stay up late at a party,
- men value girls the most: loyalty, kindness, sensitivity, sociability.
- girls like when a young man is reliable, understands her well when he is strong, balanced, intelligent, etc.
According to the etiquette of the 19th century, it was not customary to remain silent at the table in Russia. It was necessary to talk, even if there was absolutely nothing to say. The book on etiquette describes the case when one woman who had a place at the table next to her sworn enemy at a dinner party found a way out of the situation - during a certain etiquette time "sufficient for a decent conversation with a neighbor" so as not to offend the hostess at home, she “told” him the whole multiplication table.
The most important thing when I came to get acquainted with the girl’s parents was to make a good first impression. If the first notes do not work out well, it will be quite difficult to correct the situation.
The very first thing you need to do when a girl appears at a party with her parents:
- say hello
- to greet mom and dad
- give presents
- note that mom looks great or make some appropriate compliment.
If the family has younger brothers and sisters it is absolutely necessary to provide for them a sign of attention: a toy, a chocolate bar, etc.
After all the welcome actions have been completed, parents will probably suggest moving to the table. Most likely, some dishes will already stand on it. It’s a good move to compliment the hostess about hospitality.
If the option of getting to know the girl’s parents is a family tea party - do not refuse the proposed cup of coffee or tea.
Rules of etiquette
At dinner or a cup of coffee it is better to behave as naturally as possible, but taking into account the rules of etiquette:
- Do not slurp, do not squelch tea, etc.,
- don't speak with your mouth full
- to look after the ladies
- note the taste of dishes or the beauty of the design of the table,
- behave with restraint, do not let go of flat jokes,
- to be natural.
It is clear that getting to know your parents involves communication. And it is not always pleasant or expected. How to behave should be in the process of communication:
- respect for parents. You need to contact “You” and in advance to find out the name and patronymic of each of the parents of the girl,
- good attitude to the girl. It will be most pleasant for parents if they feel that their daughter is loved and needed,
- to listen and not to interrupt. Nobody likes it when they don’t listen to him. It instantly repels. You need to carefully listen to the question or story, and then already start talking yourself,
- exclude sarcasm, irony and banter. These techniques are completely inappropriate in communicating with the girl's parents. Firstly, these are adults, and they need to be respected. Secondly, the irony may be misunderstood. You can and should joke, but carefully,
- do not reveal all cards. Tricky questions must be answered with restraint, in essence and briefly. Many unnecessary words will seem useless. It’s not worthwhile to “turn the soul inside out” at the first meeting, but to be silent and to deny is also not the best option,
- be interested. You don’t need to show excessive curiosity, but you can take an interest in exciting moments in a conversation,
- Do not touch prohibited topics. Perhaps this family has topics that are forbidden to be discussed. It’s better to ask the girl about them in advance and exclude them from the conversation completely,
- Be yourself. Do not build another person from yourself. Falsity will immediately be felt and will be taken for a lie.
You will have to survive the most crucial moment in communication with parents and answer their questions. Do not think that they want to find a catch and expose their guest in a bad light. In fact, they just care what kind of person is next to their daughter. 5 most popular questions:
Question 1. On the seriousness of intentions.
This question is inevitable, and will have to be answered. If you are not near a wedding with a girl, you should not swear allegiance and infinite love for their daughter to her parents.
In life, everything can change, and then it turns out that these were empty words. It is important to indicate a respectful, careful, reverent attitude towards the girl. This will be quite enough if the visit did not consist of a specific goal - to start a conversation about the wedding.
Question 2. About family, children.
The question about attitude to family values, love for children will certainly be raised. In any case, it is worth responding to the extent of their own feelings. The answer should be correct and soft.
If there are no children in the immediate plans, do not openly declare that the children are only under the sign of death. You just need to focus on the fact that everything is ahead, and it’s too early to think about it, and plans for a career / study / army, etc.
Question 3. About plans for the future.
The question of plans for the near and not very future can be answered directly. Everyone has their own plans and dreams, you can voice them. For example, to graduate / enter university / find a job / build a career / start a family, etc.
Question 4. About myself.
What is your hobby? Where learning? What kind of person are you? What do you love / do not love? etc. A lot of options. With the answer you can talk about your hobbies, hobbies, positive character traits. The main thing is not to exaggerate yourself and not look like a narcissistic bouncer. You can objectively tell about your successes, achievements.
Question 5. About parents.
You can talk about your parents, what they do, who they are, etc. No need to delve into family relationships, to give out all the nuances.
There are moments that are not worth discussing when you first meet the girl’s parents, acquaintance with the parents does not tolerate:
- dark stories from the past, negative qualities of a guy’s character can scare and alert,
- family troubles between parents, it’s better not to mention conflicts,
- religion, politics - slippery topics for discussion. Do not touch them, if possible. When talking on these topics, it’s easy to offend the person you are talking to or cause a conflict
- the flaws of the girl. Parents will be unpleasant to hear and discuss some mistakes of their daughter,
- intimate questions, "below the belt" jokes. It’s not even worth explaining that this is simply unacceptable,
- mutual friends. Do not gossip and discuss common acquaintances. This is ugly and inappropriate.
After dinner and conversation, you need to catch the moment when it would be better to leave. Staying too long or rushing to run away is bad form. If the moment has come, before leaving you should definitely:
- thank for a wonderful evening, dinner, reception, etc.,
- once again note the attitude towards the girl and respect for parents,
- politely say goodbye.
If the meeting with the parents took place, then most likely the test has been passed and you can breathe out. When meeting with parents you need to be attentive, polite and accurate. You have to act according to the situation, think quickly and accurately.
However, regardless of the family in which social status or affluence a girl lives, you need to follow the most important tips:
- to smile,
- listen attentively,
- to be polite,
- be yourself.
And then, any acquaintance with parents will be held at the highest level, and a visit to this family will not be the last.
How to meet the girl’s parents in the video:
Getting to know the parents of your girlfriend is an important step in the relationship. It indicates the seriousness of intentions and allows you to strengthen the position in her family circle. Therefore, at the first meeting, it is important to subdue everyone with their charm.
What is acquaintance for?
The main goal of a man when meeting a man is to express feelings and strengthen his relationship. Acquaintance will take place if the relationship with the girl is continuous, or both partners are confident in their fruitfulness.
Meeting with parents is an important stage in a relationship.
Each of the participants in the meeting can be exciting. Parents are worried about who will be the chosen one of the daughter, and she, in turn, wants a sympathy between them and the man.
What needs to be done to prepare
When a girl mentions mom or dad, it’s important to capture all the details. This will help in communicating with them.
Before meeting you need to ask the girl about all the little things. If there is something you need to know, it is better to find out in advance. Perhaps the parents have different surnames or they have health problems, or besides them there will be her brothers and sisters? The fewer surprises, the better.
Communicating with people of different age groups is often a difficult task, as both sides try to find common topics for discussion. Before meeting with her parents, you should find out who they work or what they are fond of. Do they rest every summer in the same place? Mom teaches English lessons? Dad restores old cars? It's good. Knowing such trifles in advance, you can support or start a conversation (especially when left alone with your parents).
You can ask your father or mother for advice. They will tell you how to get to know the parents of your girlfriend and make a good impression on them.
Gift to father
To please a father is to earn respect. Therefore, choosing a gift for him is not an easy task.
You can give a father:
- elite alcohol
- fishing equipment,
- car accessory.
A gift can be selected based on the profession or hobby of the father. If he is an office worker, it will be appropriate to purchase a notebook or ink pen. And knowing that he, for example, is fond of woodcarving, you can present a good chisel or a special knife.
To surprise the girl’s mother, you can buy an original souvenir or a beautiful bouquet of flowers. Such gifts will look concise.
Another option is to bring a wicker fruit basket. Such a present will be appropriate at any time.
Good options for gifts for mom are:
- her favorite perfume:
- the book of the author she likes best
- a gift set of honey or jams,
- delicious tea or coffee.
Perhaps the girl’s mother is engaged in floriculture. Then it would be a good idea to buy some interesting plant for her.
A gift should not be too cheap or expensive. If the girl’s family is calm about alcohol, it can be a good wine or brandy. This option will be a win-win.
It is appropriate to give an elegant home accessory. But it’s worth asking the girl to help with the choice. It can be a picture, a beautiful vase, a service or a casket.
It’s not worth giving some kitchen utensils, personal hygiene items or small household appliances. It is better to use this idea on the eve of some holiday.
Gifts for grandparents
Older relatives are always more conservative. This should be considered when choosing a gift.
Grandmother is likely to appreciate if she is presented with a beautiful floral arrangement or an elegant neck scarf.
The choice of a gift for grandfather can be reduced to his hobbies. Maybe he loves to read or enjoys fishing? In this case, the choice will be simple. But if we talk about universal gifts, then an expensive, tasty tea in a gift box will do.
How to look
Appearance must match the venue. If the meeting is planned at the girl’s house, they’ll fit:
- classic jeans
- casual pants
- Polo shirt,
- sweater or cardigan.
If the meeting will be held in a restaurant, then it is advisable to wear:
You can not choose to meet sports or trendy, flashy things. Refrain from ripped jeans and colorful T-shirts. Clothing should be moderately restrained.
It is important to take care of the hairstyle and personal hygiene. Before meeting you need to take a shower and wash your hair.
When a man is met on the doorstep of a house or at a table in a restaurant, the first thing to do is say hello. At this point, you need to smile, make eye contact, shaking hands. Some people are more open, so there is a possibility that one of the relatives may embrace the young man.
It is important to introduce yourself and remember the name of the father, mother and other relatives (if they are also present). In the future, you need to contact them as they introduced themselves. However, if the senior member of the family calls himself by name (without a middle name), it is better to clarify whether you can contact him like that.
After everyone introduced themselves, the young man will be invited to sit down at the table or be taken to the living room. This is the most important part of dating. Communication can last an hour or two or even more. At the moment when the course of the conversation proceeds to its logical conclusion, there comes a time when it is time to say goodbye.
Understanding how to get to know your girlfriend’s parents is easy. The main thing is to remember one thing: they are also worried, because their daughter is not indifferent to them.
How to make a good impression
The first acquaintance with the girl’s parents is an exciting event. But do not worry. In order not to fall into the dirt face, you just need to remain yourself and remember the general norms of behavior in society.
If a young man takes care of his appearance in advance and tries to behave culturally, everything will be at a good level.
What to talk about
The main occupation at the first meeting with the beloved parents is communication. Need to prepare for questions and embarrassing situations. And so that acquaintance and communication with her parents are successful, you must remember the following:
- Stay yourself. It is important for parents to find out with whom their daughter is planning a future life. When a person pretends, it is noticeable. Remaining oneself, a person makes it clear that he is not perfect, but honest with others.
- It is important to remain polite. Rudeness is what needs to be left outside the door. In any situation, keep yourself in control, even if you don’t like it and want to stand up for yourself.
- Answer the questions. You need to be prepared for all issues, even those that can put you in an awkward position.
- Do not take a defensive position. Relatives of the girl can ask provocative questions. And this is normal. If a young man finds it difficult to answer, he can point out this or carefully translate the topic. It is important for them to make sure whether the young man is going to make his daughter happy and whether she will be well.
- Their parental authority must not be questioned. Did the girl talk about unpleasant cases in the family or about what disadvantages parents have? At the time of meeting you need to forget about it. Family intrigues are a private affair of foreign relatives and only they have the right to discuss this.
- It is forbidden to make comments to the senior members of the family and rebuke them.
- You can not enter into conflict, even if there is a clear antipathy. In order not to repel either the girl or her parents, it is not necessary to engage in skirmishes and provoke aggression. If a conflict is brewing, it is better to apologize and leave the venue. It will look strange, but it will not aggravate the conflict.
- You must not be allowed to insult yourself. In communication, there was a turning point and a conflict? Better to just interrupt it. If offensive words or threats were addressed to the man, he should just leave.
How to keep a conversation going
The awkward silence on the part of the man at the common table will cause bewilderment on the part of the girl's family. It is important to follow the conversation and take part in it.
If a simple topic is chosen for discussion - fine. However, what if the parents started talking about something that they had to hear for the first time? The best option is to admit that the topic is not clear, and ask for an excursion.
At the first meeting, do not take much initiative in communication. The choice of topics for discussion is also best provided to them. One way to keep the conversation going is to get the other person to talk. The way to do this is to ask open-ended questions.
There is a mistake that the guys make at a meeting with their beloved family - they communicate with her or through her with their parents. This behavior will be regarded on the negative side. We must not forget that the purpose of the meeting is to establish contact with her relatives.
At the end of the meeting, be sure to express gratitude. Did mom try and cook dinner? Be sure to thank her for that. Or did father tell interesting stories all evening? This also should not be missed and it should be noted that thanks to him, the evening was just wonderful. It is important to remember: you can’t skimp on compliments!
Approaching the exit, say goodbye. Shake hands with each member of the family or hug if relatives themselves take the initiative.
When the guest leaves, the hostess can watch him out of the window. Keep this in mind and keep yourself in control until you manage to get out of the field of view.
Tips to help you become a pet
It is not difficult to achieve sincere sympathy. To do this, you should behave naturally and do not wear any masks. For parents of a lover, it is important to see that a man takes care of their daughter, respects her and appreciates.
How do you like the girl’s father
It will be more difficult for a father to accept a young man. He must see that the man whom the daughter has chosen is strong and smart. Wishing well, he wants to see next to her a man who is responsible for his actions and knows how to protect her.
Communicating with him can be difficult. The best option for establishing friendly relations with him is the search for similar interests. If this does not work, the guy just needs to talk to him and convince him that he is a good person.
How to like older relatives
Character traits that older people appreciate are modesty, cleanliness and hard work. In addition, they will always be pleased with the attention.
You can ask them something or offer help. Such behavior on the part of the young man will be regarded by older relatives from a good side.
The first meeting with the beloved family is an exciting event. Whether the young man will make a good impression or not, will depend only on himself. He needs to make a good impression and prove that he is a good couple for their daughter. The main thing is not to worry and behave naturally, and then the acquaintance will be pleasant for all parties.
As soon as the relationship reaches a new serious level, young people will need to familiarize their second half with their parents. And if the girls in this matter are easier, it is enough to be sweet, polite and charming, then a much larger list of requirements is put forward for the guy. Therefore, it is important to think in advance how to get acquainted with the girl’s parents in order to make a good impression.
Despite the outward poise and calmness, any man experiences wild excitement, embarrassment and even fear before meeting his parents with his girlfriend. This is due to the desire to like and make a worthy impression of yourself. Psychologists suggest phasing out an acquaintance, preparing topics for conversation, and also choosing tactics and strategies, how to behave when meeting.
How to make a good first impression
Only if the man is worried about how to please the girl’s parents when he has serious intentions towards her. There are several rules of behavior developed by specialists, due to the implementation of which you can make a good impression without making any mistakes and misconduct. Namely:
- Punctuality. It will be possible to show respect for the girl and her family by appearing at the meeting place in a timely manner without delay. In order not to be forgotten in troubles and affairs, it is better to put a reminder on your mobile gadget. If a man will get in his car, it is better to leave in advance in case of traffic jams. It’s also not worth it to come to the parents ’house early to give the owners the opportunity to prepare. You can come in advance if the meeting is in a restaurant, and the man can prepare a table and meet his parents.
- Greeting. In advance, the girl can ask how they usually greet each other in her family, perhaps there are some traditions and preferences. Parents can be greeted with a handshake, a hug, a kiss and a cheek or a bow. Father needs to shake hands without much effort, but relatively firmly. If the man is not sure of the correct choice of a greeting option, it is possible to give initiative to parents.
- Appeal. Initially, parents should be addressed by name and patronymic, showing respect and reverence. If they ask to call them only by name, then you can not use middle names.
- Behavior of a guy with a girl. When parents need to be neutral, not to be too distant from their chosen one, but not to go beyond what is permitted, showing feelings and affection. It is permissible to hug the girl slightly, hold her hand, but without kisses and excessive tactility.
- Posture and eye contact. To show yourself as a strong and confident man, you need to keep your posture, not to stoop. Also, a man must withstand eye contact during a conversation, only occasionally looking away. If you are overcome by shyness and excitement, you need to take a couple of deep sighs.
- Telephone. In order not to be distracted by extraneous chores and affairs, a man needs to turn off the phone to demonstrate interest exclusively at the meeting. If they can call for work, the man needs to be warned about this, apologize.
- Table behavior. The main indicator of a well-mannered man is his good manners. At the table you need to eat slowly, do not slurp, do not abuse alcohol. If parents themselves organized a table, a man must definitely try all the dishes so as not to offend the hostess. At the end of the dinner, you can offer help with dishes, and in the restaurant the man takes all the expenses.
Particular attention should be paid to your behavior if the man is visiting. You can say meritorious words about the house or apartment of the girl’s parents, specify the place where you need to take off his shoes. You should never come to the house as a guest empty-handed.
How to like mom girls?
Particular attention should be paid to the man on the question of how to like the mother of her chosen one, as she will become a loyal adviser to the girl, which means that it can affect the relationship.
Long before meeting the future mother-in-law, you can give her small presents, sweets, desserts, and various trinkets. When a man decided to meet his beloved mother, appearing on the doorstep of the house should not be empty-handed.